Biggest Loser

A: I'm gonna lose weight.

B: Oh, I can lose weight faster than you.

A: Yeah?

B: Yeah, you give me one week I can lose 30 pounds.

A: ...How?

That could mean anything!

"....somewhat. In spite of what we've done."

But he had such a jaunty walk...

"So I'm just kind of stayin' in my little apartment, where the court ordered me not to go."

Well, they do need to eat....

"Moms. Single or otherwise, I don't know how they work full time."

morning meeting fuel

"It's never too early for chocolate chip cookies!"

Escape from campus

Overheard in a University of Michigan hallway, 10pm:

Student 1: Man, we need to go to Dearborn. I need to go to Dearborn.

Student 2: No, come to Sterling Heights!

School Parking Lot: Five Minutes Late

Dad and big sister are out of the car, little sister is stubbornly staying inside...

Dad: It looks like she's going to have to stay in the car all day while we go to school.

Big Sister: Hahaha! Say something else funny, Daddy!