Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Biggest Loser

A: I'm gonna lose weight.
B: Oh, I can lose weight faster than you.
A: Yeah?
B: Yeah, you give me one week I can lose 30 pounds.
A: ...How?

Thursday, May 30, 2013

But he had such a jaunty walk...

"So I'm just kind of stayin' in my little apartment, where the court ordered me not to go."

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Escape from campus

Overheard in a University of Michigan hallway, 10pm:

Student 1: Man, we need to go to Dearborn. I need to go to Dearborn.
Student 2: No, come to Sterling Heights!

Thursday, March 14, 2013

School Parking Lot: Five Minutes Late

Dad and big sister are out of the car, little sister is stubbornly staying inside...

Dad: It looks like she's going to have to stay in the car all day while we go to school.
Big Sister: Hahaha! Say something else funny, Daddy!