Thursday, July 28, 2011

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Super Sized

Girl one: You're done already?
Girl two: I threw it away. I only wanted a little bit.
Girl one: What size did you get?
Girl two: Medium.
Girl one: Why didn't you get a small?
Girl two: Cause I always think that a small is going to be, like, ridiculously small.
Girl one: Like a Canadian small.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

at Redbox, discussing a Green Lantern DVD

Know-it-all son: "Duh, mom, it's obviously a cartoon. Look at the cover, it doesn't even have Brian [sic] Reynolds on it!"

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Bitchy mom to bored kids

The kids had wandered over to a lottery ticket vending machine while mom paid for groceries. It had clearly been a long day. Mom: "Get back over here! It's against the law to even touch one of those if you're under eighteen!"

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

You have a mouse?

I have something that squeaks all the time. One time it squeaked all day long.

Monday, July 11, 2011

proper office attire

office worker 1: It's cleaning day.
office worker 2: I kinda forgot about that.
office worker 1: But your dress looks fabulous! We need a 360.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

kids at the beach

"Come back! You know I can't go that far out! Plus, there might be sinkholes out there that don't stop! Like, you step in 'em and THEY. DON'T. STOP."

Friday, July 8, 2011

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Happy birthday, indeed

She: I might go to BeerFest on my birthday, but I don't know... It's like thirty-five bucks.
He: Yeah, it's expensive. But you get a LOT of beer.

Monday, July 4, 2011


Dude, this is a fucking Japanese car. How many people do you think I
can fit in here?