School Parking Lot: Five Minutes Late

Dad and big sister are out of the car, little sister is stubbornly staying inside...

Dad: It looks like she's going to have to stay in the car all day while we go to school.

Big Sister: Hahaha! Say something else funny, Daddy!

early morning on campus

"So I just kept drinking."

riveting performance

Mom to young theater goer: "Well, before you fell asleep, did you like it?"

don't we all?

"I want an iPhone that does my laundry."

Blimpie Burger Virgin

She: I want one patty on a kaiser roll.
He: No you don't.

precious family moments

"I don't know who you think you are. You ain't nothin' but a little baby."

self awareness is a good thing.

"My whole face is a hot mess right now."