you're doing it wrong

Drunk guy shouting on the street: I'm trying to be your friend! You won't let me.

A Surprise Party?

Scene: Man and woman with their car parked in the middle of the street. They switch sides of the car. With much anger, she says, "Why are you hiding your phone?!?"

campsite warriors

As sticks clash:
Boy 1: We're samurais!   Boy 2: We're ninjas!

Boy 1: You're in samurai stance.
Boy 2: But I'm using ninja moves on you.

Water park entrance

Mom: Don't poop in the pool. We won't get our money back.

art fair expert

Man gesturing at 100+ artist booths: All down there is more art. But the good art is...

woman in tea shop

"I want all caffeine all the time."

waiting in line on a 100 degree day

Guy returning to line from his car: " There wasn't much water so I thought I should bring some of these [wine coolers]."