thought you should know.

"Yeah, they said I got soft tissue damage. It's pretty much gone."

fired from McDonald's

I use paper plates at home. If I don't do dishes at home, what makes you think I'm gonna do dishes for y'all?

City bus philosopher

"A man-child's gotta learn to respect the woman; he's gonna behave the way he's brought up! See, there's a certain way to raise a man-child!... I don't know how to raise no female-child."

the party boat launches

party boater 1: WHOO! Let's get naked! Take it off!
party boater 2: Not yet!
party boater 1: Not yet?!?

picnic

"They had some good stuff, but nothing like American peanut butter!"

Envision a portly speaker

"I don't have anything big enough to fit his fat a...."

At the bus station

"I got a treat for you in my bag!"