geekliest mama put-down evah!

"The annihilation of your face is very important to me. As is the annihilation of your mom."

Half of a phone call

"The dog ate my homework..."

"Yes, I respect you..."

"Great lies of our time."

Semester in Detroit recruitment table

Staff: If you're gonna take chips, you've got to take a flyer.
Student: But I just want chips!

thought you should know.

"Yeah, they said I got soft tissue damage. It's pretty much gone."

fired from McDonald's

I use paper plates at home. If I don't do dishes at home, what makes you think I'm gonna do dishes for y'all?