best(?) response ever

Angry yeller 1: "Go fuck yourself!"
Angry yeller 2: "I WILL!"

Moved to tears

"She just, like, sits at home eating Pop Tarts crying about how beautiful Selena Gomez is."

Don't Worry, Be Happy

"Dog, Dog!!! You don't gotta worry about that. They can figure that out for themselves."

you've come a long way, baby

"Guys, can you walk slower? I'm in heels."

trying to beat the crosswalk light

"Run!"
"I can't run! Elliot friggin slapped me in the nuts!"

birthday celebration

Woman 1: Did you hire a stripper?
Woman 2: No, I got her cupcakes.

One random conversation.

First woman: "And I told her, you can't really draw conclusions from a hedgehog."

Second woman: "Didn't Harry Potter have a hedgehog?"

Third woman: "No, that was Hedwig, his owl."

Fourth woman: "What is a hedgehog, anyway?"

campus hallway drama

Student on phone: I'm in class! I can't deal with your shit right now. BYE.

playground tears

"They kept tagging me and tagging me, and I TOLD them I wasn't even playing!"

Imagine two guys and a girl.

If pressed to guess what state they were from, you might guess a plains state.

Guy 1: Don't be climbin' in our windows.
Guy 2: Snatchin' your girlfriend up?

Guy talk

..."my mother. It was some European dude..."

Imagine a young woman around 16 years old

"I know my dad. And he'll say a lot of things. But I know he wouldn't say he want a DNA test when I look just LIKE his butt."